Responding to Criticism

Elder Robert D. Hales, General Conference, Sunday Morning Session, October 5, 2008

Elder Hales' remarks seem to me to be of particular importance given the recent circumstances with the Church's involvement over California's Proposition 8. We've certainly faced some tough criticisms even among some of our own members lately and his remarks were all about the best way for us to respond.

He recommends that when we are faced with criticisms directed towards the church we need to step back, pray and respond as the Savior did when he was attacked. He listed four examples of how the Savior responded when he was attacked: First, he remained silent. Second, he bore testimony. Third, he exercised divine responsibility to preserve that which is sacred. And fourth, he pleaded for forgiveness of his enemies. Depending on individually circumstances, we could probably pick and choose from these appropriate responses if not use more than one or all of them.

We were counseled to respond with humility, meekness "Christian courage" and to turn the other cheek. Above all, we were counseled not to react with anger. I wrote in my notes, NO CONTENTION! so this must have been heavily emphasized or at least it was important for me to hear it. We've all been told this before; the moment we allow the spirit of contention to enter a discussion we have lost and can do no good. But reacting with humility and meekness and not anger when someone is attacking something we feel so very personal and hold so very sacred is easier said than done.

However, he said that "True disciples of Christ see opportunity in opposition." This is something I've tried to begin cultivating in my own life. I think it takes practice but the rewards are truly worth the effort. We were counseled to take advantage of negative criticism by responding with love and to use it as an opportunity to bring attention to the church. We should seek guidance from the Spirit for inspiration tailored to each encounter.

Another difficult one: "True disciples speak with quiet confidence, not boastful pride." I try to remember that it is confidence not in myself, but in the gospel which I wish to testify. But it's hard when you feel like its a personal attack. Another one that I think takes practice to master. One thing that might help us with this is his council that "as true disciples, our primary concern must be others’ welfare, not personal vindication". We don't feel we are better than they are, rather we desire to show them a better way. I think if we were always keeping that in mind our pride would never be a problem.

He said sometimes the only thing we can do is walk away. Always remember to stay on higher ground. He related the experience of the Prophet Nehemiah who built a wall around Jerusalem. his enemies wanted him to come down to the plains where they planned to do mischief to him. His response was “I am doing a great work, so that I cannot come down: why should the work cease, whilst I leave it, and come down to you?” So it is with us. Stay on higher ground.

This was really helpful for me to review this council in light of the recent political events. I do choose on occasion, to respond to criticisms when I feel passionately about them and in this case I have responded to more than one person and have been involved in lengthy dialogs in defense of the church. Elder Hales' remarks were valuable to me because though my intentions are good, I don't always respond the way the Savior would have done. I will certainly try to take this council to heart and apply it.